in which Kitteh shrinks away oodles of fluff

Archive for the ‘Wow, and yay and stuffs.’ Category

Add one pearl to the chain… six to go!

Well, congrats to me. A stern talking to was, in fact, what I needed. Yesterday I had my first perfect day since my honey tree visit. Today, I’m down to 280.4 (from 284.4 yesterday).

That’s a big fat honking deal because for me, the first day is by far the hardest. Once I have even ONE day to build on, I don’t want to “start over.” I know that the first three days are the roughest, and that’s one of three down. Or, as I was telling myself last night:

  • The first day is the toughest because the temptation is to just “start tomorrow” – you don’t have anything “in the bag” yet that you are “wasting” if you wait. And Lil Kitteh is screaming that once you start, you will NEFAR HAVE DAT YURMY STUFFS AGAIN. Which is absurd. Yurms will still be there when I am skinny again. 🙂
  • The first three are toughest because you are getting past the cravings and don’t have AS MUCH to waste if you start over. So I will be hyper-vigilant this whole week.
  • But by the end of the first week, I will be firmly in ketosis and carbs will be a big yawn again. My mind will be firmly fixed on what I am trying to accomplish, so really I just need to get through seven days. But I have already gotten through one of them, so six to go!

As a critique, yesterday I think I was successful at NEAN because:

  1. I said, NEAN.
  2. I hydrated all day – hydration has been jacked up since vacation, and thirst feels a lot like hunger.
  3. I hydrated last night – two big (32 oz thermal cups from the hospital) mugs of Sleepytime Vanilla tea.
  4. I kept my hands busy – crocheted some and started back to cross stitching again.
  5. I ate my PB and brownie when I first came downstairs and then nothing after that other than tea. NEAN.
  6. Did I mention, I said “NEAN” to myself? A lot.
  7. I had my last packet as I walked out the door from work – a big shake cup of “raspberry iced tea” – which filled me up and made staying on plan for dinner easier.
  8. Then,  I didn’t want to blow my “left off all the bread/crackers/etc” for dinner efforts, so NEANing was easier.
  9. I did not have any wine. Or zero carb alcohol. I just can’t do that now.
  10. Also, I said “NEAN” a lot.

What I didn’t do (and want to do better): get to bed earlier. Midnight doesn’t work for me when school is in session. I did manage to remember to take all of my vitamins, and I did do my skin brushing. I did not exercise.

But those things (vitamins, sleep, skin brushing, T-Tapp) are not my primary focus. Right now my primary focus is getting this weight off. I think that’s the mistake I made, if any, in July. I gave myself permission to not lose and just maintain while I focused on T-Tapp. Then I didn’t really TRY to lose any weight. So now, I am back to weight loss as primary focus, with occasional T-Tapp sessions being gravy. There’s real incentive to do it, because it feels really good. But my kitteh brain is happier with it being a “wow, you exercised!” thing rather than a “MUST.EXERCISE.AGAIN.” thing. So that’s what I am going with right now.

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Clothes

Despite the tenor of my post-vacay posts, I have to say that I have a lot I am happy about right now, and a lot of it has to do with my clothes. In no particular order…

  • I can now wear “normal” clothes from Target and WalMart – their biggest size is even a bit loose on me. Not that I want to build my wardrobe out of Tar-zhay, but it is really, really cool to be “normal” enough to buy from the big discount chains.
  • I’m in a 22 pant, pretty solid. That’s fat clothes, but… well, it’s NORMAL fat clothes. I can buy 22s virtually anywhere and they will fit or (depending on source) be a bit big or small. I have not been in a 22 pant since before my first little Tax Deduction was born in 2005, so this is HUGE. Or rather, not as huge.
  • I’ve lost enough size that I can actually tell a difference in the time it takes to do laundry, especially dry times. Scary to think I have lost THAT much fabric!
  • I’m wearing Old Navy clothes now – and the shirts are even XLs (16-18) XXLs (18-20). I have a skirt from ON that is a 3X and it is TOO BIG. Wednesday, I ordered some more shirts and a couple skirts to beef up my back to school fall wardrobe (and prepare for that upcoming Disney vacation). Hard to explain, but being able to wear ON is a lot to me like being able to buy in Target – feels so weirdly, blessedly normal.
  • My shoes are a whole different thing: I can wear my cute sandals and stuff on normal (not heavy walking) days and my feet and knees don’t hate me!
  • My hourglass shape is back. Too big, yes, but BACK. 🙂
  • When I was visiting my MIL, we went to a ton of thrift stores looking at kid clothes. And guess what? I got a new (to me) three quarter sleeve shirt that fits nicely. And as I looked at all the super cheap clothes, I could see just how easy it will be to have a fun, cheap play clothes wardrobe next summer.

I figure I have another two months or so of hot weather here before I need my sweaters. Here’s to getting into those (to me) itty bitty Ls and Ms I bought on sale at Kohls a while back! 🙂

Still here, still plugging away…

I am in the most intense period of my career thus far (and hoping ever). Can’t talk about i here, but suffice to say, career make or break case, very high stakes. As I think I said, sent kids away. Worked from Friday at 5am to Saturday at 8am, and came back at noon to work until 6am Sunday. Back today at 5am. Filing is due Tuesday and I will crash.

Not weighing now, and even if I was, it would be off because my face is all puffy and my water has been all over the place. But!

Yesterday as part of my 24 hours off I went over to Avenue to get some khaki shorts  in a size 22 for a trip this weekend (because they were on sale and the 24s I inherited are awkwardly loose now). They are having a massssssive sale. I came out with:

  • The khakis I went for (22 fit fine! a little loose even!)
  • For $18, an $80 black blazer that I will be able to wear to business meetings
  • For $7 each, three pretty skirts IN SIZE 18/20!! They will dress up or down!
  • For $14 a pretty cape/scarf, summer weight
  • A pretty gold threaded open weave shrug (been looking for one for a completer piece for summer)
  • Two super soft, cute shirts – IN SIZE 14/16
Meanwhile as we work these crazy hours, I have had the chance about every 3 to 4 hours to exercise my discipline muscle and turn down the shakes, fast food, and candy people keep bringing in (for free, even). So far, hasn’t even been that hard – and I am POSITIVE that I am (for the first time ever) going to come out of a crazy work period SMALLER than when I started! 🙂
YAY for mental progress!

Pants! (squee!)

My ILs returned my baby girl to me yesterday and MIL (who loves to thrift shop) found me some clothes! In all fairness, she has offered over and over to look for clothes for me, but since gaining all this weight I have always demurred because (a) I was embarrassed about my sizes; (b) I didn’t think there would BE much in my size; (c) I hate the “fat lady walmart clothes” that come in the X’s – (really? A 3X shirts with giant gold flowers?  /shudder) and didn’t want to hurt her feelings by NOT wearing what she found for me.

Well, since I am blazing through sizes fairly quickly, I took a deep breath and told her what I needed. So when she was here before to collect the granddaughter, she brought me clothes that were mostly all a bust – because I had forgotten some important Rules of Kitteh Clothes. First, I can’t wear short/cap sleeves very well because of a scar on the underside of my right arm. Also they look horrible. 🙂 Second, I am SO OVER wearing sizes with an X and pants with drawstring or elastic – I NEVER WANT ANY AGAIN (unless they are yoga pants, but that’s different). Oh, and finally – shoot for the size I am not in yet, because by the time I get it from you, I hope to be moving down.

So guess what?!  This time, she brought me two pair of button/zip tailored capris – one in navy, sort of a lightweight denim, and one in blue and white pattern, both size 22. She also brought me an XL green and white top, an XL blue tank with sparklies, and a cream top with sparklies and long sleeves.  I loved them ALL! I looked at the pants and my brain said, you can’t possibly fit into those, but I rallied – soon you will!! They will be goal pants!

So this morning I decided to just suck it up and try them on and see how close they were to fitting. I was running short on time, but I pulled on the first pair of pants, the lightweight denim capris, and THEY FIT!!  Not only did they slide right up, they fastened with NO pulling or sucking in. And they look REALLY CUTE!!!

Ok, I KNOW 22 is by no means small. But back in January, I couldn’t get this belly and hips into 28s without huffing and squeezing. So right now they feel TINY to me! 🙂

That’s a really good thing, since yesterday I was really stressing about work and summer scheduling and not seeing any movement on the scale STILL – so it is a lovely validation that I AM DOING THIS.

 

Moanday 062512

Greetings, Kittehfriends. Here’s all the kitteh news you have been longing to hear:

1. This weekend, I decided the coolest thing I could come up with to celebrate 50 lbs down was to get a fitbit – something I had been considering for a while. They are kind of like pedometers on steroids. I got the fitbit ultra, which tracks steps, calories burned (based on activity and metabolic rate, based on weight and height), distance walked (in miles), stairs climbed, and give you this cute little flower that “grows” and adds leaves as you are active during the day. Then you can log onto the website and enter your food also, so you can compare your calorie deficit to actual.

This thing is definitely making me walk more – I set my initial value for steps goals pretty low (4K steps/day) and so far have exceeded it – I just wasn’t sure how many i was regularly walking. Turns out, about 5K is more what I am doing, so I am going to up my goal to 6K for a while, then up it again.

I’m also climbing the stairs more because I will get “credit” for it. 🙂 Will work for digital display, apparently. 🙂

2. This weekend, I cleaned out my closet of anything too big. Hurray! I kept sweaters that were 1X or smaller – the 1x things are OK right now (though loose) and I am HOPING they will be too big by the time I need sweaters, but this way I am OK if I wind up losing more from the bottom for a while. I’m already smaller on top than bottom because of the baby belly, so that is possible (and even desirable). And can I say it felt AWESOME to have my closet empty of stuff that is too big?

Also, I tried on some very nice dark wash trouser jeans I had squirreled away – Catherine size 7 petite – and they fit loosely, so yay! I can remember when I could not even get those up my hips. I kept them for now, but I am hopeful they will pass on through the wardrobe by the time jean weather is here and never be wearable.

3. I also randomly noticed this weekend that:

  • My calves are starting to come back in at the knee again instead of going straight up into my thighs (yay!)
  • Our laundry takes perceptibly less time to dry and less room in the basket when folded, now that my clothes are five sizes smaller (go figure!) This makes me curious about what laundry will be like as I get into even smaller clothes! I guess I didn’t notice how much different the fat clothes were making because I was also adding little people to the wash at the same time. Ha!
  • I am never going to wear those giant sweatpants again. Away with them! I am in the market for some pretty yoga pants (NOT in black) and wearing those at home now. 🙂

4. Finally, the report: I am actually up a pound today from 275 – I weighed 276 – but that is probably from the salt in my dinner last night and normones.  According to fitbit, I was in a calorie deficit of more than 1500 (enough to lose 3 lbs per week).

My biggest fear right now is that as I get more active, I will add more muscle and slow down my weight loss. That’s crazy, because overall that would be a GOOD result – I would get smaller, have a higher metabolic rate, and so on. BUT…. I reallllllly want to post a big loss for the year in absolute numbers!!!

I don’t know what to do. Well, I do – I need to exercise! I’m just sad about it. I am worried that this failure to lose right now (despite a 1500+ calorie deficit) is really the beginning of the end.

Oh! But on the bright side? I measured and it is NOT my imagination. My arms are smaller (not just floppier) by about 1/2″ each and so are my calves, and my thighs are more than an inch smaller each. Also lost everywhere else, that’s just what I am remembering most.

 

Reward?

I really want to do something to commemorate 50 lbs down.

I don’t want new clothes as the treat – those feel like something I am “entitled” to because my old ones don’t fit, whenever they don’t fit – I’d rather wait to COMPLETELY un-grow the 24s that are loose and hopefully go straight to buying 20s, or at least until there is a great sale. 🙂

Obviously, food and drink are out. 🙂

I’ve been toying with the idea of taking some of my jewelry that is currently unwearable (very nice stones in earrings that are not hypoallergenic) and having them reset into earrings I can wear. I have sapphire solitaires and emerald solitaires, which are mine and my husband’s birthstones. So thinking that having them put into one pretty pair of (hypoallergenic) earrings would be cool. Just not sure how pricey that would be.

What do you think? Any better ideas?

a mini-celebration

I still don’t know what (if anything) I will do to memorialize 50 lbs down. But last night, DH was home weirdly early from school and I had a rare and unique opportunity: time available to go out before stores closed but after work, plus Kohl’s cash.

I came home just floating!  As you may know, Kohl’s has most of its old winter stuff on sale by as much as 90%.  First, because I got:

(1)  an open weave, short sleeved sweater (which I am wearing right now as a jacket) for $21 (that’s the most I paid for anything) and IT IS A LARGE. Not a plus large, people, a SIZE L from the NORMAL clothes section!

(2) a super cuddly cream sweater vest (long) with built in scarf for $6 in M/L (that’s what it says – M/L)

(3) a pretty cream crew neck sweater for $13 – size MEDIUM and it is a little tight on the girls at the moment but will be FINE by the time it is cold enough to wear it

(4) a peach colored tank with cream lace for $4 (regular XL – need it to go over the girls now before it gets cold, ha!)

(5) a petite size L long cardigan in pale blue, cream and yellow mottled knit for $7

(6) a cute tailored jacket in vintage-inspired  pale yellow with cabbage roses for $11 in a juniors size L (tight on the arms at the moment, but very doable soon!!)

But the real thrill was this:

I also found out that the woman’s sizes 1x were pretty much all too big for me and that I can wear an XL in regular sizes in dresses and tops!!

This is FANTASTIC news!!

With my baby belly roll and substantial rear view, I am still in plus size pants for a while. But this is absolute proof that I am moving toward a normal physique and I am THRILLED.

The day I am done with plus size for good, I think I will throw a party. 🙂