I have been thinking of doing a post here since I woke up this morning – three or four times I had the thought, the first in ages. But one thing and one thing only finally drove me to the screen. Between the final closing of Google Reader (and resulting quest to transfer my reading list), the move, the upcoming Test for DH, and the vacation, I fell way behind on blogs. Today, trying to catch up, I saw this on Momastery:
When I fall into the hole – I forget everything. Like what makes me happy and what it is that I DO HEREand how I feel about people and how to do my jobs and everything I’ve learned about life, relationships and courage. It’s like when a computer gets a virus and all the data is wiped out. It’s all gone. Everything that I thought made me, me. Lost. I forget what words I’m supposed to say and what facial expressions are appropriate, which is why I spend a lot of time looking very blank and refusing to answer the phone or the door. Everything’s BLANK. And the only, ONLY thing that comforts me in the BLANK is food. Namely sugar and carbs. Lots of them. It’s like being very, very stoned but instead of giggling I feel like crying all the time.
This is me.
So I’m not exactly depressed. At least, not like I have been before. It is isolated to the issue of Health — not just weight loss, but my physical presence on this planet.
Carb Night Solution was a failure–the carb nights made me miserably sick for days. The Ultra Low Carb part was fine, but the food gets super boring fast and the choice is so limited I know I am begging for a new sensitivity to develop. Paleo/Primal was a failure–the carb counts allowed by even just root vegetable sare enough to start off crazy carb cravings that, if satisfied, make me sick for days. Read Mastering Leptin and thought it was a great find – and am currently on Day 2 of the suggested supplements –it doesn’t stop me from wanting only sugar and carbs (and crying).
So this morning’s thought was: what do I do NOW? I thought of writing a post and asking for opinions, and then thought that it was pretty pathetic and would probably just be irritating to everyone else. But frankly I got nothin’ that makes me feel like shouldering the task again.
Here are the options I am considering:
1. Go back to packets: even more restrictive, but hard to mess up. More balanced, less likely to cause problems, can be easily integrated with the Leptin 5 rules (see below). Plus I already have a ton of them, so using them up seems like a good idea – even if I only do it for a set period (3 months?)
2. Go back to Ultra Low Carb. At least there is some variety? But it’s very restrictive, very easy to mess up, and after reading the Leptin book I feel like I finally understand possible negative consequences. Also take a lot more planning and coordination than opening a packet, and I spend a lot of time thinking about food. It’s a weird thing for me – thinking about it, then wanting to EAT it. Addicts should probably not spend time thinking about their addiction, if you know what I mean.
3. Say screw it and become the size of a house. (This actually has a LOT of appeal, but obvious negative consequences, starting with the fact that I feel like poop.)
Truth is, I have never enjoyed as much success as I did on packets. They are laughably easy. The only regrettable thing is, they require a lot of willpower. And my will power is tired.
Oh, the Rules from Mastering Leptin – Here’s a blurb and the text of the Rules:
The Leptin Diet: Five rules that prevent/correct insulin resistance, leptin resistance, adrenaline resistance, fatigue and mood problems. They promote a metabolic balance that leads to relatively easy fat burning, even for those who have struggled with their weight.
Rule 1: Never eat after dinner. Allow 11-12 hours between dinner and breakfast. Never go to bed with a full stomach. Finish dinner at least 3 hours before bed.
So that’s basically to capture 11-12 hours of fat burning, like in IF, and I was doing that anyway on packets. Harder to do on ULC.
Rule 2: Eat no more than 3 meals a day. Allow 5 to 6 hours between meals. Do not snack. (Snacking disrupts leptin and throws it out of balance, shutting of fat burning time, making a person want to eat more at the next meal, which then flares up leptin resistance.) If you sleep in on a weekend day, eat 2 meals, both slightly larger than usual.
Note: Individuals in a metabolically weakened condition may have trouble going five to six hours between meals, regardless of what they eat. This weakness manifests itself as low blood sugar symptoms between meals. It is reflective of congested or inflamed liver, similar to flabby, out of shape or hurting muscles. Just as exercise needs to be improved gradually to help the muscles, eating patterns and time between meals may need gradual improvement. Eat four smaller meals a day, four hours apart, with ten hours between dinner and breakfast. Eventually they will notice they can eat the three meals a day and feel good energy all day.
Of course, packets violate this, kinda – but not really because the science behind this is to avoid the secondary insulin spike and to let the body reset between meals. Since your “meal” is so tiny on packets, it does not take the full time to re-set.
Rule 3: Do not eat large meals. Try to finish a meal when you are slightly less than full. Eating slowly is important.
Rule 4: Eat a breakfast containing protein.
Rule 5: reduce the amount of carbohydrates you eat.
Those hardly bear commentary, right?
Reading on, they also advocate exercise, more important to be consistent than intense, in order to (a) use up what you just ate,, (b) use up the byproducts of converting food to energy, (c) get into fat stores.
This is a total too-long-didn’t-read, but in case you are still with me, I think the way is (distressingly, depressingly) clear.
On the bright side? Jenn at overcomingovereating had trouble getting results on Medifast and went to the dieticians and got a modified plan.
I think I need to give myself some period of time and then if not enough results, talk to actual advisors.
Will ponder how long that is and post more later.