This is what I keep asking myself. “Self,” I say, “what’s next?”
Little Kitteh thinks we should give up and become that woman who seats what she wants AllTheTime and spends her day moving between the bed and the broken down chair, eventually moving into a hospital bed and wearing a sheet because nothing fits, and if it did fit, she’s too fat to haul herself up to put on clothes.
Shiny Happeh Kitteh thinks we should eat what we want, and somehow, magickally, we will NOT become that sheet wearing lady.
Growed-up Kitteh thinks we are going to have to actually tackle Real Food, in a way we have been successfully avoiding. But that makes Growed-up Kitteh mad, because she is already busy enough doing Lawyer Stuff and Mom Stuff and Friend Stuff and Church Stuff. She does not have time to parent Kitteh also. And it makes her so mad and pouty that she forgets she’s supposed to be the Growed-up Kitteh, and starts sheet shopping online.
I’ve been doing mah research (naturally) about Paleo. Here’s what I see: lots of people switch to Paleo and lose weight. Not as fast as if they go uber low cal/low carb, but steadily and happily. The reason, however, is because they become what Paleo gurus call “fat adapted.” What that means is, they burn fat for fuel instead of carbs. Does that sound familiar, Kitteh Friends? Because it is a lot like KETOSIS, only it’s fairly easy to eat enough fat calories to keep you from burning body fat. I’m super afraid that I will lose NOTHING eating Paleo, because (a) I am already fat adapted so I won’t get that initial whoosh; (b) I am not going to be able to lose anything without counting carbs AND calories; and (c) I may die with no cheese or eggs. Seriously. I have left off the bread with nary a whimper for years. But… cheese??
So to recap.
Whinging does not, in fact, change the situation.
I am going to have to impose my own structure on my diet, shooting for 10 grams ECC at a meal, and eating NO eggs, milk, dairy, or gluten. I am going to have to leave off alcohol entirely for a month or more. And I am going to have to stick with it a month and see what’s happening to my body.
Ugh. “Going to have to” is kitteh-self-talk for “here’s what you should do, but I know you are not really wanting to do it, or at least not yet.” (Kind of like “I’ll try” is kitteh-self-talk for “but not very hard.”) So I am going re-write that sentence, in a way that will reflect what is actually HAPPENING:
I am imposing structure on my diet: 10 grams ECC per meal, without things that poison my body (like eggs, milk, dairy, and glutens, or alcohol). In a month, I will reevaluate.
There. That’s better. Right?