It occurs to me (again): when I cheat–no, let’s be specific: when I let LK talk me into eating off plan or skipping a walk or having a nightcap—what I am doing is breaking a promise I have made… to MYSELF. My OTHER self. Not the part who sets limits, or the part who demands indulgence. The real me. Adult Kitteh.
Thinking back all the way to Transactional Analysis (which we studied, of all things, in the gifted program at elementary school)… well, let me crib from Wiki for you:
At any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three ego-states that people consistently use:
Parent (“exteropsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent’s actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.
That would be my harsh inner kitteh, who is pretty disgusted with how badly I mess up all the time and thinks I cannot “do this.” (And not because of my actual parents–TA is a little too Freudian sometimes for my tastes).
Adult (“neopsyche”): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that could affect its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.
That would be the one I am talking about, the real me, the Kitteh who knows eating right, moving my body, and losing weight are the ONLY LOGICAL THINGS TO DO.
Child (“archaeopsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.
…also the source of tantrums, demands for indulgence, and complete inability to see (or at least recognize) consequences.
in other words…
Mostly TA is about, well, transactions between people – that’s one of the key differences of it versus Freud. But I am really interested in how to use my Parent in a NURTURING way, my Adult effectively to make DECISIONS, and not make Poor Little Kitteh feel un-loved.