My Evil Assistant has This on her desk:
Open, it looks like this:
Yes, those are Reese peanut butter hearts and Starbursts.
NO, I am not going to eat them.
Mostly because I have now told you about them.
By the way, if you could hear inside my head, it sounded something like this:
[walking by the first time] Did she put more Reese’s hearts in there? Srsly? I am going to have to kick her skinny ass. And are those Starbursts? PINK Starbursts? And RED? I freakin love those things. I better get out of here.
[walking by the second time – when assistant was not at desk] Let’s just look and see if those are what they look like. Yup, that’s what they are all righty. Right. I should walk away now. She’s not here. I could take one or two and SAVOR them. Yes, SAVOR them, and that way I can explain on my blog how I decided to SAVOR them and how it wasn’t really cheating because I really need to de-carb and if I am going to have one it should be now, not in the middle of my four week uberstrict, right?
[somewhere in here, I had the jar open and had extracted three Reese cup hearts and was going for a red Starburst]
WAIT! NO! IF you eat that now you will be starting over again and you have been starting over more than you have been sticking with for way too long. Put down the candeh!!! You do not need that, you want it, Little Kitteh, and that’s just tough because YES it will matter, YES it will start you craving, YES it will keep you FAT if you don’t walk away from even the little bites of naughty. In fact, you are wearing large quantities of small bites on your ass right now. So put down the candy and walk away.
And now! now you are going to take a picture! and tell
everyone both people out there in teh Blogosphere that it is there, looking at you, and you are NOT eating it. Even though this is your third post today, you are going to confess it is there and LEAVE IT ALONE!
and I did! 🙂