in which Kitteh shrinks away oodles of fluff

the whys of the weekend

Like I said yesterday, this weekend’s excesses were part of a larger picture. First, there was the physical trigger of the carby oranges. Oranges may not be high in calorie but they are cheating, and for good reason. Too much sugar. Second, there was the stress. I’ve had sick kids for two weeks running and really since January on and off – not only am I tired of sick kids, they are tired of each other and tired of me. And my son has now reached the stage of 3 when discipline is not just called for, it is mandatory. And I was reallllly tired of being the one doing it. Third, I have been reading archives of the overcoming obesity site and… well… where I got to in her story? she was binging. And yeah. I’m that susceptible. I did learn some other things about myself from reading it, worthwhile things that will help me succeed long term. But the short term result was that reading her binge posts was a little like reading food porn. God help me, it wasn’t the food that sounded good, it was the oblivion of the binge.

So the stage was set. Then, fourth and finally was the fact that I was really looking forward to a nice date with DH and it just didn’t materialize at all as I had planned/hoped/wanted/needed. I had planned to get dressed up and feel cute. But all of my clothes are currently too big or too small, and we had a sudden ridiculous cold snap and it was NINETEEN DEGREES, people, which also wreaked havoc on my wardrobe choices and plans. I had planned to have a nice salad to start, and the one I got was just nasty. I had planned for us to enjoy the five course Valentine meal, but every single course was bready or shellfishy or BOTH. The soup choices were clam chowder or corn chowder. Really? YUCK. My steak was good, but I was so sick of greens between the kale and the horrible salad that I did not enjoy yet MORE greens from my spinach, and they brought me sauteed instead of creamed (which was to be my indulgence). DH got mac and cheese for his side, and I was going to have a taste – a little taste – and THEY PUT LOBSTER IN IT. GROSS. Neither of us wanted dessert. Movie was good, but hard to follow at the beginning and a slow start. I hurt from the cold more than I have hurt in weeks. I was limping around like I had found the lost 25 lbs, and feeling frumpy. When we got home, DH scurried away, which I was not expecting, and i went to bed alone in a very cold room. Which was just as well, since I had major cramps.

So there you have it. All of that made me frustrated, hungry for something besides GREENS, and disappointed. And lonely. And hostile.

And I took it out on ME.

Scale today, by the way, says 302.6.

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