in which Kitteh shrinks away oodles of fluff

Did a lot of work on my head. Trip was great for that. Doubtless I will post more about this over the next few days/weeks  but I am going to start off with a “what I am doing differently now” and maybe that can frame up the various insights I have made.

Chronologically, I started with what I learned last time (a few weeks ago) when I jumped on the good eatz train and stayed there for a bit – I wasn’t motivated, and I read about the Plan on the website and success stories, and I found some motivation – enough to get me going again. In other words, I sold myself (again) on the program I already picked instead of surfing and looking for a new program. So this time (about mid last week)I was toying with seeing if my insurance would pay for a round (40 days) of the hGH diet and looking at the success stories on that site got me thinking: I am motivated to do SOMETHING by looking at people who DID it, no matter what program they are on. So I picked myself up and got cranking again.

In no particular order, here is what I have figured out:

Affirmations are key for me to keep my mind in a good place. Good place for me is confident, saying positive things (this is easy, these packets are great and so simple, I feel so much better).

Reviewing success stories helps me a LOT.

When I didn’t focus as much on those two things this weekend, I still did fine (turned down off plan eating every single opportunity it presented itself, even when free, yay me!) but I wasn’t as enthused or as positive about it. So I am going to actively build that into my weekends from now on.

Nothing matters as much as where your mind is: that includes which plan you are using and how much you are exercising.

Insight from that first day: once I read a couple of 100 club success stories, I literally felt a huge rush of energy. I started off feeling tired and grumpy, but looking at success made me feel better mentally AND physically.

Insight this morning: I was noticing how many of the “tips” from 100 club (and more) people are a variation on: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT.  (More on that in another post.) In turn, I made the observation that I have picked something that I firmly believe is doable: getting rid of this belly by October (three months). I believe VERY STRONGLY that I am not meant to have this belly – I have never had one, and it is foreign to my mental image of myself. So I am starting there. Actually, I started there first – THIS BELLY IS GONE INSIDE THREE MONTHS was my vow – and now looking back I can see that I accidently picked something that I feel so much passion about and belief in that it really gets me motivated and I really BELIEVE it is possible. Perhaps if I had started with “I haz no junk in trunk” I would have more issues with belief (lol).

I also know you can build on success – the self talk goes like this: “I did THAT, so I oughtta be able now to do THIS.” So the belly (which is THE THING that TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF ABOUT MY BODY, at least right now) can help me with that.

Here are the affirmations I am using. Anyone making a SNL skit reference (MASSEL!) will be sharply rebuked. 🙂

  1. I deserve a healthy, active, slender body and I accept it right now. [This is the cheesiest of all, but I had such a squirmy feeling about saying I “deserve” an active body that I decided to do it for 30 days and see what happens.]
  2. Shrinking is easy, I am smaller every day.
  3. No belly within three months/By October, belly gone.
  4. I love my packets and my workouts.
  5. “I love my ‘Situation.'” [This one is a play on the Impatient Dieter’s* t-shirt, which in turn is a play on Jersey Shore (I think) – it refers (I think!) to that hourglass middle and big bust (or maye just the bust, I’m not sure, but to ME, it means that whole middle part) and it makes me laugh and feel good all at the same time, so I am keeping it. Every time I think it (which is embarrasingly awesome) I laugh and tighten up my abs, so it’s a winna for sure.]

*If you have not seen her stuff, google. She’s awesome.

 What does “using” mean for affirmations? At the risk of being mocked, I am doing the Scott Adams thing of writing them out 10 times each every day (well, only 1, 2 and 4 actually) and I am doing the Jim Carrey thing of saying them out loud to myself when I am alone, like in the car on the way home (hopefully fellow motorists assume i am on a cell phone). For that first, hard one, I am making myself say it in the mirror to myself 10 times, looking myself in the eyes. It is getting easier but was REALLY squirmy at first.

Another observation: I realized out of the blue (not really – I am sure as a result of spending time thinking about this stuff, making way for observations) that I was secretly doubting my ability to do “this” (this=lose all this weight) because I am older now and my metabolism isn’t as fast, especially after losing so much muscle. Sure enough, I have been experiencing “not fast” or at least “not as fast as the last time I lost weight” and “not as fast as my younger friends” and somehow in my head started letting that validate my belief that I might be too old to pull this off. When I yanked THAT thought into the hard light of day, it melted like a slug under salt. (Sorry, I needed a gross analogy because it is a GROSS THOUGHT.) I mean, I believe 100% that my PARENTS could get healthy and lose weight if they put the effort into it. So how much more so me, with twenty fewer years? Besides which, suppose that’s true: even if age is going to make it slower this time, won’t it only be WORSE next year and the next? In other words, right now is as easy and it is going to get!!

On the same youth/weight kick, I realized how much I had been bothered by pictures from a friend of mine from high school that I literally hadn’t seen in 20 years, but thanks to Facebook I know has recently lost over 100 lbs. The thing is (I will confess here while we are anonymous) she LOOKS AWFUL!! Ten THOUSAND years old, and AWFUL! And she’s not the only one – LOTS of people lose weight and look MUCH older.

So how to resolve THAT?! Well, I’m still working on that one, to be honest, but here is where I am right now:

  1. I got a LONG way to go before THAT matters, so for now, focus on “no belly by Rocktober” and don’t worry about it.
  2. It may just be those last 10-15 lbs that make you look so horrid, so maybe I will just stay round and relatively young looking? Ha!
  3. More importantly, I’d rather look older and thinner than fat. Since this is PURELY a vanity thing, I think I will LOOK BETTER/more attractive/whatever if I just lose the weight.
  4. I comfort myself that those two friends suck at makeup (and still don’t bother).
  5. I’m moisturizing the heck out of my face in the meantime. 🙂 HA!

I have so much more to say, but really should get back to work. To sum up:

I am in a MUCH better place. (Hi!)

I will be staying here.

I found a goal I 100% believe is doable and is getting done – no belly by October!

And I am not interested in tracking pounds because that is not the point of the current goal – so don’t look for that info on here, at least for a while.







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