Well, this weekend I went to Alabama and left my food packets at home. Not on purpose. I didn’t go crazy but I wasn’t on plan either.
After a week of that, I’m at 305 this morning. That’s not really “real” but it’s bad enough.
I have been watching Ruby – seen it? It is massively annoying. Ruby was over 700 lbs. She lost down to 302 when the season ended last year. Over the summer, she has now gained back 60. This week she assembled her “team” (nutritionist, psychologist, two trainers, her physician and her two best friends and some other people I didn’t recognize) to tell her what she was doing wrong. The psychologists main point was: COGNITIVE something or other, which meant: YOU LIE TO YOURSELF. Then in the wonderful way reality TV does (not) – they showed footage of her lying to herself. “It’s not like I am really OFF plan, not totally…” etc.
Sharp. True. They want to send Ruby to the 12 Step program because she is a food addict.
Here are things I think are true. But now I am wondering if I am lying to myself?
1. Pretty much 90% of my bad choices happen when I either (a) skip eating my packet on time and get too hungry; (b) drink a glass of wine and lose my inhibitions.
2. I can do this on my own.
3. I really want to be thin. (Really? ’cause you don’t much act like it.)
I’m sure there are others.
What lies do you tell yourself? Do you think the above are real or delusion?