Yesterday I was starving all day. No idea why – hormones? cramping? stress? all of the above? Made it through the day on packets plus three Hershey’s kisses from the candy jar in my office mate’s office (curse her for keeping them) and a big coffee. Went home and did OK at dinner – not good on food choices (some frozen berries and three tiny BBQ sandwiches on little biscuits) but didn’t stuff myself. Put kids to bed, had THREE glasses of port (that’s too much, seriously), some microwave mac & cheese (one of those little single serving ones) with American cheese added to it, and then toast with Wensleydale cheese. I probably ate 50 times the calories sitting on my butt last night than I had consumed all day long. That is SO stupid and unhealthy. This, if you were wondering, is an example of a Very Bad Day.
It is killing me to say this, but if I have a glass of wine at night, I have a tendency to start munching and it accellerates – more wine, lowered inhibitions, more munchies.
Here are the things I am doing differently today (even though I will tell you RIGHT NOW that I am hungry already and feeling rebellious and not at all as contrite as I should):
1. STAY HYDRATED. I am drinking more peppermint tea/water today. I was dehydrated last night and I know that makes me treat a glass of wine like it was a thirst quencher instead of a treat to be sipped. It’s also very hard for me to tell thirst from hunger sometimes.
2. NO CAFFEINE DURING THE DAY. That coffee at 2:00 helped control my appetite but it also dehydrated me. See No. 1.
3. PICTURE MYSELF RUNNING before I come down after putting the kids to bed. During the morning and day, I keep an image in my head – me, able to run again. I want it bad. Then at night, I somehow lose touch with “that” me and find myself thinking about “relaxing” and “decompressing” and before you know it, I am eating. I’m hoping that if I force myself to spend a couple minutes thinking about what I want (to be able to run) very concretely before I go downstairs, it will help.
4. Limit alcohol. I have not decided yet if I am going back to my “old plan” which was I could have a glass of wine ONCE a MONTH, or whether I want to allow it a certain number of times (max) per week, or what. But I am going to have to face facts that a glass of wine makes me a thousand times more likely to eat something, and 100% more likely that if I do eat something, it will be the wrong thing.
5. STAY ACCOUNTABLE. That’s why I am typing this stupid post and humiliating myself.
6. EAT MORE OFTEN DURING THE AFTERNOON. I had those chocs instead of my last packet – about the same number of calories but NOT the same amount of full! I am going to try having my soup as the last packet before I go home so that I am fuller when I sit down to dnner. Although frankly, I was not HUNGRY when I was stuffing my face last night. I was rebellious and tired and stressed, and “treating” myself. Treating myself into an early grave, apparently. Treating myself right out of being able to run.