On Feb. 9, I went to an all day CLE (Continuing Legal Education) program, followed by class with Hubs, followed by dinner out for our anniversary. I spent the day sitting at a table with my iPad open, keyboard out, writing stories.
They were good stories. At least, they were workable things. I submitted one to an online magazine. I am turning one into a novel. I have suddenly rekindled my ability to sit down and Write Stuff. Not legal stuff, or nonfictiony stuff, and not blogs or comments or chatroom posts – real fiction. Stories.
I wish I could say that since then things have been great. Instead, since then, I have been completely psychologically up in the air. I settled a multimillion dollar case in my real job and I hardly noticed. At my core, I am just pissed off. I want to write. I am annoyed with all teh crappicus that is in my way (meaning: my real life.) I am annoyed with people who have more free time than me. I am annoyed with myself, when I get home and do anything else but write. And I am annoyed that I am really tired and don’t want to write in the moments when I otherwise COULD be writing.
I apparently am just plain angrehs. And before you say it, no, I do not have a right to be. I know that my life does not suck. I LOVE lots of things about it. And that just makes me madder. So no comments that imply your life is worse, because that is not my point. I am just beyond frustrated. And apparently that makes me wanna eat. Grr.